When we want to bring the world for our kids! When No matter what a hit their 5th birthday was you want to bring in their 6th with even greater pomp! When we wish to provide for all their needs because we were raised with insufficient resources! When you hear ‘mumma/dadda I want a bigger toy’ and even though you bought one just yesterday, your heart lunges to give in! When you tell yourself, why deprive them if one extra chocolate is all they want! When you say he/she won’t stop crying till the demand is fulfilled and you can’t bear to see them cry that much! When you are too busy and giving in to their demand is less time consuming!
If you see yourself falling for these temptations, BEWARE: you have a dangerously Impulsive child in the making.
Yes! there is a biological factor responsible too, but if a dough is left out of the oven it cannot turn into bread on its own. Therefore, even though a child has an impulsive streak in himself/herself, they will learn to ‘manage’ it if the environment and significant adults in their life permit manifestation of that impulsive vein in a structured manner. Now you may say you love them and can’t see them hurt, but ‘giving’ everything they ask for is not your only way to show love, if your 3 yrs old child demands to play with a match box you surely won’t ‘give’, because you know it is clearly life threatening.
When you become a wish vending machine for your child, valuable factors like ‘love’ and ‘respect’ cease to grow stronger. Moreover they are unable to learn a very important lesson of respecting ‘no’ as an answer. They become less resilient in challenging situations and thus have a narrow chance of success based on their own ability. They fail to enjoy social interactions by learning the beautiful theories of ‘give and take’, ‘good things come to him who waits’, etc.
Incorporate following tips to provide for them smartly, thus teaching them to ‘wait’ and ‘value’ what they receive:
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