“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.” – Peggy O’Mara

This quote resonates with me, as my perceptions and behavior as an adult have been shaped by my inner voice. My inner voice has been influenced by the informative and emotional conversations I’ve had with my parents during my childhood. So is the case with all readers, isn’t it?

But are we doing the same with our children? Are we helping them build a constructive inner voice? Are we helping them create a positive self-image by communicating with them at deeper levels? Talking with our children should be an important daily event. However, as parents, we often find ourselves held up by busy schedules, leading to quick, surface-level conversations. Despite spending hours with our child under the same roof, we can seldom squeeze out quality time to connect with them.

Research suggests that the best parent-child relationships are characterized by positive communication and interaction during the early years. When parents stay in touch with children through attention and conversation, children are less likely to act out or behave in ways that create conflict or require discipline.

Effective Communication Techniques

Here are some ways of effectively communicating with our little ones:

1. Make Eye Contact

Every time you talk to your child or when your child is talking to you, maintain eye contact. This indicates that you are active and attentive in the conversation. If you cannot hold eye contact, get on your knees or sit down to be at eye level with your child, encouraging open communication.

2. Acknowledge Your Child’s Feelings

Acknowledging your child's feelings helps them feel accepted and secure. When you empathize with your children, they learn to be more sensitive and accepting towards others' emotions. By validating their feelings, you teach them that their emotions are real and important.

3. Rationalize The Correction

Simply telling a child to stop a particular behavior is not enough. Providing a calm explanation helps them understand the implications of their behavior for others. For instance, if your child teases another child for wearing glasses, explain that glasses help the other child see better, and remind them that teasing can hurt feelings.

4. Teach Them How To Say ‘No’ Firmly

It’s crucial to educate your children about saying ‘no’ in situations that make them uncomfortable. Let them know that saying ‘no’ is a choice made for their safety and security, not a negative response.

5. Use More “Dos” Than “Don'ts”

Parents often default to “don’t” statements. Instead of saying, “Don’t hit your sister,” you could say, “Play gently with your sister.” This shift promotes positive behavior and reinforces the actions you want to see.

6. Use Kind Words

Kind words foster a respectful relationship and better communication with your child. Children who are spoken to with appreciation and respect develop a better sense of self-worth. Use kind phrases like, “Thank you for helping me with the dishes” or “I love you.”

7. Be An Emotional Coach

Listening is as crucial as speaking in developing an emotional bond. Effective emotional coaching helps children understand life’s emotional fluctuations. Families that discuss emotions tend to have children who are more academically successful, socially adept, and capable of handling difficult situations.

Conclusion

The world can be overwhelming for our children. By communicating regularly with them, you can help them form a positive view of themselves and the world. Good communication is the heart of harmonious homes and the key to healthy relationships with your child. It lays the foundation for their future interactions as they grow into adults.

Keep working on these communication skills. It can be challenging at first, but practice will help. When you slip up, take the opportunity to repair the situation with your child and start afresh.