Published on: October 15, 2023
When We Want to Bring the World to Our Kids!
When we want to bring the world for our kids! When No matter what a hit their 5th birthday was you want to bring in their 6th with even greater pomp! When we wish to provide for all their needs because we were raised with insufficient resources! When you hear ‘mumma/dadda I want a bigger toy’ and even though you bought one just yesterday, your heart lunges to give in! When you tell yourself, why deprive them if one extra chocolate is all they want! When you say he/she won’t stop crying till the demand is fulfilled and you can’t bear to see them cry that much! When you are too busy and giving in to their demand is less time consuming!If you see yourself falling for these temptations, BEWARE: you have a dangerously Impulsive child in the making.
Yes! there is a biological factor responsible too, but if a dough is left out of the oven it cannot turn into bread on its own. Therefore, even though a child has an impulsive streak in himself/herself, they will learn to ‘manage’ it if the environment and significant adults in their life permit manifestation of that impulsive vein in a structured manner. Now you may say you love them and can’t see them hurt, but ‘giving’ everything they ask for is not your only way to show love, if your 3 yrs old child demands to play with a match box you surely won’t ‘give’, because you know it is clearly life threatening.
The Impact of Becoming a Wish-Vending Machine
When you become a wish vending machine for your child, valuable factors like ‘love’ and ‘respect’ cease to grow stronger. Moreover they are unable to learn a very important lesson of respecting ‘no’ as an answer. They become less resilient in challenging situations and thus have a narrow chance of success based on their own ability. They fail to enjoy social interactions by learning the beautiful theories of ‘give and take’, ‘good things come to him who waits’, etc.Incorporate following tips to provide for them smartly, thus teaching them to ‘wait’ and ‘value’ what they receive:
Boom! you have them disciplined as well as focused!
Learners at JBCN are motivated towards disciplined and goal oriented behavior too. Several homeroom management techniques are incorporated to monitor and mitigate behavioral deflections. As expressed in my previous article, healthy and successful kids can be raised only through a coherent effort, so lets work along the same lines and become wish-pending (until goal achieved) machines/parents/teachers!
This article is contributed by Ms. Sheetal Racherla, Counseling Psychologist @ JBCN International School Oshiwara
FAQs
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What is a "wish-vending machine" parent?
A "wish-vending machine" parent is one who constantly gives in to their child's demands without setting boundaries. This parenting style, though often rooted in love, can prevent children from developing patience, resilience, and appreciation for what they receive.
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How can parents set healthy boundaries with their children?
Parents can establish boundaries by reinforcing the idea that not every desire needs to be met instantly. Encouraging children to earn rewards through positive behavior and achievements teaches them patience and responsibility while ensuring they feel valued in non-material ways.
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Why is it important for parents to say "no" sometimes?
Saying "no" helps children understand limitations, cope with disappointment, and develop emotional strength. It teaches them the value of hard work and delayed gratification, preparing them to navigate challenges in adulthood without a sense of entitlement.
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How can parents strike a balance between granting wishes and teaching responsibility?
Parents can balance generosity with discipline by encouraging goal-setting. Instead of fulfilling every request immediately, they can create structured reward systems where children earn privileges through good behavior, academic progress, or acts of responsibility.
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