We are all collectively responsible for complete safety of our young children to ensure that their childhood is safe and happy. There is increasing awareness about emotional safety and emotional learning for children. Likewise, it is imperative for parents to educate their child about personal safety too. The risks of not doing it make it extremely essential for parents to learn the right ways of approaching this topic.

No matter how heartbreaking or uncomfortable it may be or some parents may even feel that their children are too young to have this discussion. Others may not know where to begin. But, it is imperative to educate our young children on what is acceptable and what is unacceptable or inappropriate touch - which is a breach of their personal safety.

1. Introducing the Concept of Personal Safety

Knowledge is power and ignorance a fool’s bliss. It’s important that we create opportunities to talk to our children about what a good touch is and what is not, like Radhika did.

Radhika and her twin 3.5-year-old were playing a game. Every time one of her twins completed a task, Radhika rewarded them with a hug. When they finished the game, Radhika asked them “Do you like that?” and then explained that a hug from mom is a good touch – which is why it brought happy feelings. Finding the right opportunities is of primary importance.

Children around the age of three years, i.e., in the Toddler years, start asking questions about their body parts. That would be the right time to use this opportunity to teach them the accurate names of their Body Parts in an age-appropriate way.

2. Stages of Learning About the Body

Mirrors in our homes are where the early positive learning takes place. Infants and toddlers can view themselves. Place posters with appropriately labeled encourage natural explorations with puppets, dolls, and related props such as clothes, housekeeping items, and role-playing items.

Initiate these by offering experiences to children to care for their personal world through Self Help activities like washing hands, folding their clothes, and toilet training.

Mirrors in our homes are where the early positive learning takes place. Infants and toddlers can view themselves. Place posters with appropriately labeled encourage natural explorations with puppets, dolls, and related props such as clothes, housekeeping items, and role-playing items.

What we do affects others and ourselves. In the course of the knowledge and skills they acquire, children learn about self-regulation, self-management, and the beginnings of independence and autonomy. Using role play with dolls and toy figures as a technique can help in identifying appropriate ways to touch others as well as help very young children label and identify body parts.

3. Explaining Positive and Negative Touch

• Good Touch is when it brings happy feelings when you are hugged and kissed by people you love; like when Mumma, Papa give you a hug and a kiss when you go to bed or wake up. Dada-Dadi or Nana-Nani visit us and we all get hugs and kisses.
• Bad Touch is when it brings you discomfort or pain or makes you nervous or scared. It must not be kept a secret when someone touches you against your wish or where you don’t want to be touched. If a person asks you not to tell anyone or something bad will happen, that is when you need to tell your parents right away.

A parent is the child’s first teacher, and their knowledge about touch is also received foremost from their parents. Feelings of security, being loved, and a sense of belonging are the earliest lessons learned by our children.

Every individual has a right to control how their body is touched. As children go through the stages of body awareness, further guided by loving and nurturing parents, they learn to identify what is appropriate touch and what is not.

4. Teach Your Child the Names of Their Anatomy

First and foremost, they must know what to call their private parts without an iota of shame associated with it. It is just another part of their body like a hand, chin, or elbow. Just as a child is able to clearly share with a parent when in pain, about “What happened?” the child should be able to comfortably explain the exact location of the pain by using the accurate terminology for the body part to emphasize the situation. Reading a book on the human body which shows the skeleton, organs, and body parts can definitely be a learning.

5. Teach About Personal Space and Private Parts

Gently and lovingly explain to your child that some parts of their body are private and belong only to them. They are not for public viewing. In simple words, explain the definition of private parts - those parts covered by undergarments/swimsuits are private parts, and no one is allowed to touch their private parts. Only their parents are allowed to touch them, only while giving them a bath. A doctor might touch them but only in the presence of their parents.

6. Teach Them to Say "No" Emphatically

Encourage them to voice their opinion about their feelings. Even in play, if anything makes them uncomfortable, they have the choice of speaking out loud, “Stop! I don’t like this play” whether it is to a Peer or any other Adult.

7. Set Clear Boundaries for Personal Safety

Teach your child to communicate and express concern to you immediately and loudly even if the risk of safety is from a known and close contact.

• It is not okay to touch someone else's private body parts
• It is not okay for someone to touch his or her own private body parts in front of you.
• It is not okay for someone to ask you to take your clothes off except if they are a doctor helping to see if you are hurt or sick.
• It is not okay for someone to take photos or videos of you with your clothes off.

8. Avoid Forced Displays of Affection

Let us train ourselves as parents not to force our children to hug or kiss any friend or family member. A smile or greeting from a distance is an acceptable display of affection. Physical contact is not essential.

9. Teach How to Seek Help and Express Needs

Incidents typically happen when a parent is not around. Teach them to go to the nearest adult they trust if they feel insecure and uncomfortable.

10. Communicate, Express, Share!

Encourage and set an example with your child to converse openly about their feelings, likes, and dislikes without any judgment. Respect their opinions.

Conclusion: Continuous Dialogue for Personal Safety

Parents, let’s open up a dialogue on personal safety and emotional learning with our children not just as a one-time conversation but make sure that you use opportunities during relaxed times to regularly reinforce this imperative discussion.