“Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that, but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing.” — William Butler Yeats

Children are born with an innate drive for life and learning. At the heart of this discussion of cognitive growth and development lies a critical element on which learning builds: relationships with caregivers from infancy onwards, especially parents, grandparents, siblings, and extended family members. Later come teachers, mentors, and the wider community. When a child has loving, interested adults around him to encourage and join in his personal discovery journey, motivation for learning happens automatically.

Engagement and Exploration: A Key to Lifelong Learning

Engagement with the child, first emotionally and then cognitively, allows the child to explore and experience the joy of discovery. When adults are willing to see the world through the child’s eyes, spend dedicated time dialoguing and sharing the excitement of new territory, it becomes one of the most powerful tools to help a child develop a love for learning. Games and strategies for learning found on the internet are helpful, but relationships are paramount to a child becoming a successful and self-motivated learner.

Real-Life Learning Through Strong Bonds

One of the most poignant university essays by one of my former students describes this process beautifully: “To my grandfather, I give credit for the person I am today; both the successes and the way I’ve learned to handle setbacks. He would take me fishing almost every weekend, and I can remember counting the days until the next fishing trip. Together we would pack our lunch, prepare our fishing gear, and set off for the day’s outing. We would talk about everything — life, his history, my school friends, and sometimes even the stars and the planets. I learned life’s important lessons during those fishing trips: the importance of self-determination, love, and understanding that life is a journey. Even though he is no longer with me, I can still hear his voice and feel his belief in me, which shaped me into the person I am today.”

Building a Child’s Intrinsic Motivation for Learning

When a child’s needs for connection, belonging, and independence are fulfilled by those around him, a drive for achievement arises, and learning holds its own intrinsic rewards. In motivational theory, Ryan and Deci suggest that “the tendency to be either proactive or passive is largely influenced by our relationships and interactions with others, which can either foster or thwart well-being and personal growth.”

Constructive Feedback: The 4-to-1 Rule

It’s also important that we give children realistic feedback about their performance. Following the rule-of-thumb of four positive encouraging rounds of feedback to one suggestion for improvement ensures that constructive criticism doesn’t stifle their enthusiasm for learning. Encouraging self-reflection with phrases like “You aren’t there quite yet” instead of “You’ve done it wrong again” helps the child stay motivated and teaches them the importance of self-analysis. This kind of feedback builds a positive learning environment and fosters a child’s ability to learn from their mistakes and continue growing.

The Importance of Intrinsic Motivation in Child Learning

The ideal situation in learning is described by Ryan and Deci: "Intrinsic motivation occurs when we act without any obvious external rewards. We simply enjoy an activity or see it as an opportunity to explore, learn, and actualize our potentials." When a child learns because of intrinsic motivation, there is no limit to his capacity. In contrast, extrinsic rewards are temporary and less effective in the long term. Often, parents and teachers offer rewards for better grades or improved performance, but if the child is motivated from within, learning becomes natural and self-fulfilling. This leads to a long-term and permanent desire to learn.

How to Create a Climate for Lifelong Learning

The challenge for parents and educators is to create the right climate for learning, ensuring that children develop their own innate motivation that will last a lifetime. In this process, adults can also experience the joy of learning anew.